South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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