Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
too bad you live with your parents still
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
