the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
