She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Bring me that man meat
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
