Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
foreskin is a definite game changer
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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