Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
