Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
two words: eviction party
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
