yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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