do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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