Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
