can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
