it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
