And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize