it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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