We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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