A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
