Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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