I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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