Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
