super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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