WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
