So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
