yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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