so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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