Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize