No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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