New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Someone shattered a urinal.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
