I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
