I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
