guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
