This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
