you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
