is this the sara with the beer cane?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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