This girl is more easily done than said...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
