my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
