Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
