I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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