all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
