The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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