he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
