i think my mom watched the whole time
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
