I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
