How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
