Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
