He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
