i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize