dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
