I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
