ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
