ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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