Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
