If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
