Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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