He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
