just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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