Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
