Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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