I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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