I didn't shave. On purpose
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
